it's all just a blackjack game

there's nothing really remarkable about the new semester except that my schedule for MWF is more loaded than before. I still have maramara for lit (for UP guys who watched lysistrata, she's the bida not the persian woman haha) but for everything else, i have a new teacher.

our calculus professor is your stereotypical (prof-from-the-movies) really really booooring teacher. i can say he's between 60-70 and mainitin ang ulo (ganun ba talaga pag tumatanda?) he talks so slow, writes so slow (yung tipong nanginginig, no lie), pero di naman slow to anger.. hehe.. sungit poh!!! imagine having to ask for his permission when we want to use the cr!! you have to sit up straight otherwise he'll think you're sleeping. "if i talk, you listen". and i have this funny feeling that professors like him give hard exams. pero i can see that he really knows his thing. he looks like someone who really lives for math! i'm not saying i don't like him ah.. in fact i see him as one of the smarter math profs in ateneo.. hehehe

we haven't met our teachers for natsci and pe yet. ms. natsci is still in france.. i dont know what's with mr. pe

and we have a new teacher for english. she's far more lively than our previous eng prof, but i'm not celebrating yet. maybe i'm just paranoid (after the grade i got last sem) but i'm starting to feel that maybe she too wouldn't appreciate my writing.. oh well.. and from our discussion kahapon, parang di talaga ako nakaka-catch-up. uhuhu.. honestly, parang di ko naiisip yung mga naiisip ng iba.. i have these moments. you know, parang ang stupid ko sobra.. heheh..

well, lit is lit. missy is missy.. but poetry is something else!!! gosh!! kahit kelan di ako nahilig dito noh.. tapos drama??? what's thaaaat??

sorry kung puro school stuff lang tong entryng to.. ala pa kasi nangyayari eh..

ay naalala ko we have a new prof for fil!!!! i'll miss salazar!!! (mag-react na ang mag-react) hehehe.. our new prof is young and mabilis magsalita.. hehe..

alena i've been reading sophie's world.. ang ganda pala super! nung una kasi parang ang boring eh.. pero ang ganda.. i've been learning some real stuff.. ahahah..

sige bye bye muna..

* to-do list:
1.) must recite for english and lit (long term).
2.) must ace math quiz tomorrow
3.) must write better now (yup, writing na ata sa fil ngayon eh)
4.) must recite for english and lit
5.) must recite for english and lit
6.) must recite for english and lit
7.) must start reading hillary's autobio
8.) must be interested in environmental science (all i need is interest)
9.) must recite in english and lit
10.) must recite in english and lit (sounds better with the 'in' instead of the 'for'?) grammarians there, pls correct me..

what's wrong with me?? why am i so afraid of speaking in public? a lot of times i have an idea which at the back of my mind sounds really really correct and when all of me wants to raise a hand and share an 'insight', the dominant part of me hesitates and stops me from reciting.. i fear that i may say something wrong. although i know for sure that discussions in lit (and probably english) are more subjective and any answer - whether right or on the wrong track - would always contribute to a clearer picture and that seemingly 'wrong' answers aren't obviously wrong.. hehe.. reader, i know exactly what you're thinking: LABO!! but that's it.. that's what i feel.. i neeeeed confidence..

* why do we (we? or maybe it's just me) not like people for no particular reason at all? and when we (again does it really have to be a 'we'?) realize they're actually wonderful.. well, it's such a shame!!

* why does a seemingly intelligent guy have to teach pe 101 (ooops!!! dangerous comment.. at least that's what i think for the moment) this is not a rhetorical question..

* why is poetry so unloved? (palagay ko kasi sobrang abused na sya.. dami kasing poems na talagang pangit.. sobrang commonplace.. pero try reading some classics? you'll see. oh well..)

* sabi nung teacher dont try to make your prof like you.. "you'll only make a fool of yourself" tama ba yung pagka-gets ko,lanz? yun ba ibig nya sabihin? hehe

* are my high school friends reading my blog? if yes, why don't they tag or post a comment? (desperate eh.. haha)

* why is it that when miriam said she "changed (her) mind" (remember elections??) a lot of people bought her excuse.. i believe na pag nasabi mo na, panindigan mo.. unless talagang pure ang intentions mo for acting differently now.

*haaay naku... nagfe-feeling intellectual na naman ako eh.. hehehe

haha.. i know what you're thinking. watched maalaala mo kaya last night with my mom and bro. grabe the guy was such a natural!!! he looked really effortless in comedy!! and he really looks like lesther and karl!! hahaha.. his life was so funny. and maybe he's rich too.. imagine giving up his business (or did he?) in japan and going all the way here just for love? haha..

anyway, we just watched el postino (i'm not sure if it's the correct spelling) in lit.. haha.. funny how we give another interpretation to the movie.. i'm in ctc now.. amy and stacy already left.. don's online ehehe.. and alena too!! really funny cause we were both invisible for quite a long time so we only got to chat now.. hehehe....

i dont know why im happy.. maybe because encountering two of my closest friends online, both of them at the same time, has always been a low-probability incident especially since they're all very busy.. if only you know how active my fingers are right now.. i'm currently inviting them to eat out at katipunan.. i dont know if its ok with them.. im missing these guys.. very very much.. and i owe don 7 dinners/lunches!!!

alena cant make it to katips.... *sad*... busy daw.. okay lang.. we're here to study.. i understand that fairly enough.. haha.. anyway, don was telling me something someone wouldn't want to hear.. ano yun?? secret!!!! hahaha...

anyway.. bye bye na..

slept at 3am last 'night' to finish the second half of chinese cinderella. as far as i can remember only two books made me cry and chinese cinderella is one (the other book was tuesdays with morrie).

there's nothing really special about the book except that it happened for real. the storytelling was very straightforward, almost as if a child is talking to you - which is probably effective because this book focuses on the author's first fourteen years of existence (she also has an autobiography called 'fallen leaves' which i'm planning to read during christmas vacation..) the narrative was linear, any grade two student will not have difficulty understanding her story. and the words used were very simple..

chinese cinderella tells of the heartbreaking story of an unwanted chinese (obviously) daughter, blamed for the death of her mother. adeline yen mah's mom died a few weeks after giving birth to her.. and predictably, the father remarries.. of course, the stepmother is another wicked woman just like cinderella's stepmom.. yet another cliche? nah...

the first part of the book might strike you (if ever you'll read it) as kinda boring.. "di naman ganun kasama yung 'pamilya' nya ha.." (pamilya because it's not just her stepmother who hates her.. her father doesn't know her name and birthday after 10 years.. her elder siblings blame her for their mom's death.. of course, her spoilt half-siblings just don't care).. you might say, "ok pa rin naman buhay niya ha.." (cause they're rich)

but wait till you reach the second half.. grabe... i was crying kagabi cause i cant believe all i've read could actually happen in real life.. imagine being sent to a convent school in a communist-infested city and left there alone.. adeline even reached the point of being the only student left in the school because all the other girls who were daughters of capitalists already left the city to escape communism.. and imagine transferring to another convent school where you never had visitors and letters for four years while your schoolmates were visited by their parents every sunday..

these may not affect you much.. i'm not doing the story any justice.. but trust me, those i've mentioned were just 'small' things.. whaaaaaaahhh... the girl was so helpless!!!! you wouldn't believe some people could be so heartless... made me realize i'm very very lucky to have my parents and brother..

it reminded me of what missy told us the first few days of last sem.. sometimes you read things which are simply unbearable... i think she told us about 'a child called "it"'... the child was being maltreated unimaginably by his mother and you, as a reader, just want to close the book and not finish the story anymore.. because it's too much.. then she said, "but why do we still read it anyway?" still go on to finish the book?? i found myself in that situation.. adeline's story is so hopeless.. and not just her story.. her grandpa's situation is just as hopeless- if not worse.. but i still chose to read it anyway... hahah...


heheh... sorry guys for such a freaky entry... i was just so affected...

so sige.. bye bye...

Conversations with Mom:

while watching bad boys II:
mom: buti na lang hindi tayo naging negro.
me: (tawa lang)
mom: ngipin lang maputi sa kanila
me: haha.. oo nga noh.. buti pala maputi ngipin nila..
mom: eh panu pa sila makikita sa gabi
me: pero parang ok maging negro.. parang masaya sila eh..
mom: hmm... magugulo yang mga yan.. kaya nga si kuya ken mo
noon umalis sa new york.........

*my mom is no racist. she's just being honest with herself.. she doesn't wanna be black.. well, she probably hastily generalized (what fallacy is that again?) about the blacks being 'magugulo' but isn't that what hollywood portrays and wants us to believe?


while reading about a politician:
mom: ayaw ni (-----) to eh.. kurakot daw
me: (i forgot what i said.. if ever i did say something)
mom: eh si (-----) naman mahilig maniwala eh.. pati yung chismis na
kabit daw ni gloria si nanny perez noon..

as i leave our unit every morning:
me: ma, alis na ako.. bye bye (*kisses) ingat, love you..
mom: o sige.. bye bye ingat din..
mom ulit: dalhin mo susi ha..
mom pa rin: cellphone mo..
mom nga eh: payong.. wallet..
you guessed it right: o, good girl ha..
me na: sige, love you..
mom: oh love you din..

*believe me this is our everyday routine.. we must be geniuses..

pag walang magawa:
me: ma, gumaganda na mukha ko.. (sige tawa lang..)
mom: hmm.. hindi pa natin alam yan...
mom ulit: kasi dapat, pinagdadasal mo rin yan..
me: pero at least compared dati, mejo ok na..
mom: oh, magpasalamat ka sa Diyos..
after a few hours:
mom: oh.. nag-dry-up nga yung mukha mo..

NEXT TOPIC(S)

- the best ang groupmates ko sa english.. finally got an A. hahah

- i just received a news that made me feel soooooo bad.. but i'm
praying about it..

- im watching another play in UP.. the michael hernandez project ba
yun? dunno..

- last friday i was chatting with carol all the time thinking she was
lady kareen.. hahaha... i'm still the same old emz...

- last friday nga ba talaga yun?

- was it also last friday that i had this one-hour phone conversation
with don? hahaha.. la lang.. "balitaan" whehehe....

- this is it... you cant predict missy's next move.. pamatay yung quiz
kanina...

- i cant believe sobrang nabusog ako sa seattle's.. one
time, i never had lunch, so i went there around 3pm.. got a slice of
cheesecake and coffee lang.. when i got home, sobrang busog ako

- ahh.. i remember na.. twas friday night when i talked to don...
saturday afternoon when i was chatting with carol...

- if you reached this part, thanks.. you just spent 2 minutes for me...

(inspired by the lines of peter meinke's untitled)

this poem is for a man from my high school
whom i have never talked to, and never will
whose lovely face, and graceful manners
bring to mind memories
of the good ol' days
that cramped little eating space
white tables, aluminum glasses
and ground beef.
the name reminds us
of recognized people
but the face and elegance is that
of the politician's son.
i could only wish you knew
you were beautiful,
and loved
cause really you were, and you still are
and that i cried, cause really i did.
But now i see that these things don't matter anymore
because some things just go away after some time
like beauty, grief and tears..
And so i write this for love, life
and for you Jelandro
better known as Jelan... you left us all in awe
yesterday
at age 16.

we were having a discussion in lit a days ago and missy was telling us that we are not sure who really was that Mary who washed Jesus's feet with perfume.. well, maybe some verses can help clarify matters:

John 11:1-3
Now a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha. It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick. Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick."

Looks like it's not Mary Magdalene after all..